Get off my Ledge

It seems Adam had reached the end of the line. Already, his passport had been taken with orders not to leave the country. His lawyer had run out of appeals and stall tactics, there was only one thing left to do…

It all started when that disastrous third quarter statement was sent to the investors. The office phone never stopped ringing as the promised client wealth had tanked. People were now aware of the pyramid scheme and he had no chance to lie himself out of it. He had hoped to be out of the country before the losses were posted.

Climbing out his office window Adam struggled to not accidentally slip off the ledge. His choice of footwear had not been considered that morning, wearing his Italian Ferragamo’s with the slippery leather soles. It was early in the morning when he decided the only way out for him was down seventeen stories into the ground. As far as he could tell, nobody had witnessed him sitting on the ledge. The traffic of the city was just in its morning infancy. Quiet and patient before congestion takes over creating jams and angry drivers. The sun rose up between the skyscrapers. The view was something he never really paid attention to. He was driven for success even though it was by illegal gain. For months, he looked his investors in the eyes and assured them their risk would be generously rewarded. All the while knowing it was a line of crap.

Suddenly the window next to his was opened. One of the building janitors, Lucas dressed in coveralls, had seen him sitting out there.

“Yo Man! Whatcha doin out there?” Asked Lucas. “STAY AWAY” Adam screamed.”Be cool man, I'm not here to bother you. I ain’t no Muhammad Ali wanting to talk your ass off the ledge.” Will you do me a favor though?” Lucas asked. “Huh? Do you a favor? Why would I do that?” “Well, Lucas continued, you see I share the cleaning of this building with another guy, Larry the Jew. If you would move jes one more window down and if ya decided to jump you would land on his part of the sidewalk and trust me it’s no fun hosin down a bloody sidewalk.” Adam frowned, “Really? That’s all you care about? Frankly I’m offended. My wife is Jewish.” “Look man, everyone calls him Larry the Jew, there ain’t nothing meant by that. He’s a good person.” “They call me Loco Lucas, maybe I’ve earned that title but I don’t mind. You see, a few years back I was sittin on this very ledge pondering life and death.” Why in the hell would you, a Janitor, have it so bad you’d want to end it all?” Asked Adam. Lucas smiled, his gold front tooth shined in the brightness of the morning. “You don’t know then do ya?” Lucas ducked back in the window briefly,

reappearing holding a Depends men’s diaper. “Here, stretching his arm out to Adam, it’s gonna get busy up here soon so you best cram this down your pants because you're gonna get edgy if you gotta piss so jes take my word for it.”

Adam looked strangely up at him and did as Lucas asked. “I was a stockbroker back then and got in way over my head. I scammed people that trusted me out of over Eight million dollars.” “I figured like you are right now, I didn’t wanna go to jail. The police negotiator came and talked to me for three straight hours. I had to piss so bad I almost whipped it out on the ledge and let it rain on the gawkers down below! Ha, I didn’t have nobody pass me a Depends!”Adam chuckled, “Yeah I feel for you and I already used that diaper.” He laughed. Lucas told Adam to be sure to chuck it farther off to the left on Larry the Jews side of the building. For a moment they both laughed as Adam flung the wet diaper unto the ground below making a wet slapping sound. “Man, that took a longtime to reach the sidewalk.” Pondered Adam. “So, did you go to jail?” Lucas got serious and said “Oh no, the judge saw it as a big mistake, I said I was sorry and that was it.” He watched Adam with interest as he thought "how dumb is this guy?” “OF COURSE I WENT TO JAIL! Are you stupid? I served 18 months in Greenwood.”

That’s the country club of prisons, reserved for white collar crime. Had I been a janitor then I would have gone to Attica!” “I’ll give you the name of my lawyer if you're interested.” Adam nodded and for the first time he felt there may be a life after prison.

Adam explained in detail his situation, his accomplices and how his scam worked. Lucas listened with interest before pointing down the block.

“Look down to the corner over there, you see O’Brien’s Pub? Can you believe they were taking bets at the bar if I was to jump or not.” “One guy during my trial approached me and was pissed because he bet a C note that I would jump and didn’t. I jes laughed in his face.”

“Of course I could never go back as a stock broker again, you lose your license. “So why a janitor?” asked Adam. Well, the courts aint so forgiving and restitution has to be made. So I took this job and pay fifty dollars a week, probably for the rest of my life.” “I figured the more money I made the more they would take so I use this as my front job.” I host high stakes poker games. It’s an all cash business with only the wealthiest and discreet clientele.”

Off in the distance you could hear the police and fire sirens approaching. “Well man here they come.” You better decide what you wanna do and like I said, move to the left if you still wanna jump!” Adam shook his head no but began to freeze up. He was now overcome with fear that he might fall accidentally. Lucas went into the office behind Adam, slowly opening the window.

“Take it easy my man, let me get you inside now.” Wrapping his arms around Adam’s waist he gently pulled him through the window. He walked Adam back to his desk and sat him down. He took the suicide note sitting on the desk and ran it through the shredder. “You're gonna be alright Adam, you look me up when you get out and I’ll find work for you.” With that he left with a smile. Turning the corner was Detective Jensen who was patiently waiting. “Did you get it?” He asked. Lucas smiled, reaching into his pocket for the recording that would put Adam behind bars for the rest of his life.”

“Yeah I got it but next time YOU play the janitor!”